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Literature Text
Dear lost one,
I'm sorry you're dead. I'm sorry that I didn't see how much pain you were in. I wish you hadn't done it.
I used to see you around sometimes, back before. I never actually avoided you; I just didn't purposely approach you. I don't really know why. Maybe I thought you were too weird or something. I don't know.
They say that you waited until no one was around. They say that they didn't recognize the signs. I guess none of us noticed you or knew you enough.
I wish I'd done something different. I wish that I'd been a better person. I wish I hadn't just ignored you. I wish I'd stopped you. I wish that somebody did. But we didn't. I'm sorry about that.
There are times when I wish I'd never even known you existed, that I never recognized the face on the front of the newspaper. There are times where I feel that you were the selfish one for doing it, and not me for not reaching out. There are times when I wish you could let me know if you forgave me or hated me for what I didn't do. I wish I had the same closure as you, with no loose ends.
I wish you were still here and still alive.
I'm sorry.
Sincerely,
_______________________
I'm sorry you're dead. I'm sorry that I didn't see how much pain you were in. I wish you hadn't done it.
I used to see you around sometimes, back before. I never actually avoided you; I just didn't purposely approach you. I don't really know why. Maybe I thought you were too weird or something. I don't know.
They say that you waited until no one was around. They say that they didn't recognize the signs. I guess none of us noticed you or knew you enough.
I wish I'd done something different. I wish that I'd been a better person. I wish I hadn't just ignored you. I wish I'd stopped you. I wish that somebody did. But we didn't. I'm sorry about that.
There are times when I wish I'd never even known you existed, that I never recognized the face on the front of the newspaper. There are times where I feel that you were the selfish one for doing it, and not me for not reaching out. There are times when I wish you could let me know if you forgave me or hated me for what I didn't do. I wish I had the same closure as you, with no loose ends.
I wish you were still here and still alive.
I'm sorry.
Sincerely,
_______________________
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For Alex: I'm sorry that you felt that that was your only chance. I wish I'd stopped you from blowing your candle out. I wished I'd payed more attention.
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Comments7
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I dont want to sound so critical because I can see this is related to an even in your life but the actual piece is simply insensitive and depersonalised. There is no emotion, though I don't doubt you feel remorse you simply haven't shown it in your writing.
Your comment was personalised and emotional and actually showed regret. If you try to make the letter less generalised, if you talk about Alex or how you felt when you realised he was gone the piece would be, not better, but more touching and powerful to the reader.
Another point, and I promise it is my last, change the title. "Letter to a 'dead kid'" is so unbelievably devaluing to anyone who is going through or has seen someone go through this. Change it to Letter to a missing soul or Letter to a lost friend or even Dear Alex. changing to anything, even Untitled would be better.
Your comment was personalised and emotional and actually showed regret. If you try to make the letter less generalised, if you talk about Alex or how you felt when you realised he was gone the piece would be, not better, but more touching and powerful to the reader.
Another point, and I promise it is my last, change the title. "Letter to a 'dead kid'" is so unbelievably devaluing to anyone who is going through or has seen someone go through this. Change it to Letter to a missing soul or Letter to a lost friend or even Dear Alex. changing to anything, even Untitled would be better.