One mistake

I made a mistake, okay?
I just wanted you to reassure me and say you'll love me anyway.
I went to you to be accepted
Now I now, I'll always be rejected.

I know it could just be a phase
Just wanted to be guided through the haze.
Instead I know now how you feel
And now I know not to be real.

I'll hide for you, hurting too
I'm sorry that I betrayed you.
You'll never love me as a whole
That thought pounds my head, taking its toll.

I wanted you to say it will be alright
But instead, now I feel like crying from the spite.
Inside now, I'm slowly dying.
But on the outside here, I'm constantly lying.

Though I had known what you would say
Still I went to you that day.
I wanted comfort and support
Instead I'll just remain a lonely fort.

I count the years left to hide
But how to stop my emotions' rising tide?
Will you ever truly love me
When there is a part that you wish would cease to be?

If I could cut it out I would
Just so you'd see me again as "good".
But I can't, and it kills me
To know that you will never really love the real me.